Posted by Richard Kuhlenschmidt
Wed, 15 Mar 2006 13:03:00 GMT
Instant messaging, along with text messaging, has become one of the social communication modes of choice for a large number of today’s teens and pre-teens. While banning it entirely may be impractical, if not impossible, it is important for your child to understand its proper use and etiquette as specified by your family or school rules, and that abuse of these rules may result in the restriction if not banishment of its use.
How to monitor its use is an ongoing dilemma. Some instant messaging services do have archiving features but others, including one of the most popular, AIM, do not (at least as far as I have been able to discover).
One solution I found is a product called IMbrella ChatChecker Pro. Priced at $49.99, ChatChecker installs on YOUR PC and lets you remotely monitor, block or record instant messaging on 2 other PC’s in your home or small office. No one will know how their IM is being checked and it will never stop working until you shut it off!
IMbrella ChatChecker will allow parents to:
• Check up to 3 PCs (including the PC it’s installed on)
• Record or block all AOL, MSN, Yahoo, Trillian and ICQ conversations
• Set up special time windows for permitted IM use
• Discover inappropriate or sexual content
• Search messages by keyword and date
• See live messages as they occur in real time
• Block harmful viruses hidden in IM file transfers
• Reveal both sides Instant Messages
• Save conversations for 30 days
If there are any other solutions that anyone knows of, please let us know.
Posted in Internet Safety, Setting Limits, Technology | no comments | no trackbacks
Posted by Richard Kuhlenschmidt
Fri, 20 Jan 2006 16:08:00 GMT
As our children get older, setting limits on their activities becomes a bigger challenge. Peer pressure comes into the picture in a big way. I’m sure you all heard about how “Johnny’s parents let him watch PG-13 movies” or “All the other kids in the class are using Instant Messaging, why can’t I?”
Our school has come up with what I think is a very satisfactory and workable solution. At the beginning of each year, we have a parent meeting where issues like this are discussed. We then establish a set of limits as a class on what we will allow and will not allow our children to do, with an emphasis on viewing certain activities as privileges that might come with maturity and responsible behavior. With this perspective, children can be informed about which activities the group agreed not to indulge in “for now” and which activities “can wait”. We call it the “Parent Covenant.”
It makes a very powerful statement when you can say that the parents in the class have decided this as a group. It also provides easier, more influential language when, for example, a 14 year old wants to watch an “R” rated movie with friends, it might be easier for the parent to say, “I don’t think we need to go there for now; I think we can wait on that.”
Examples of some of the Covenants we decided this year include:
No internet use during play dates
No parties with more than ¼ of the class unless the entire class (boys or girls) are invited.
Playdates with the same 2-3 children are discouraged
No Instant Messaging
A parent will call other parents if a movie is being watched during a playdate to make sure this is an acceptable movie.
Of course, these limits will vary depending on the grade level. Surprisingly, almost every parent agrees to this Covenant.
I have heard that other schools have similar practices. One local high school that I know of has a list of parents on their web site that have pledged that they will not allow parties at their home without adult supervision. Another school has parents sign an agreement not to allow alcohol at high school parties. This way, if your child is going to a party, you can look up the family to see if they are on the list.
Posted in Setting Limits | no comments | no trackbacks
